Relic
by PompeyMagnus
Summary: Five years after Third Impact, Shinji Ikari is a shattered soul, yearning to keep his mind and his memories intact, while trying to remember the voices of the ones he loved. Chapter Five up, possible AsukaShinji or KaworuShinji, please read and review.
1. Rewind

Well, this is The Evincar with _yet_ another new fanfic…You may be confused and angry by this, or you may just not care…It's true that by making all these new fanfics that makes me take longer with my mass updates and I have to divert my attention to other fanfics…

But so what? I can't help myself. :D I just love making new fanfics when I'm bored. But you'll _never_ see me actually abandon a fanfic, just take longer updating them…

I originally wanted to make this new fanfic be Neon Genesis: Resurrection, a chaotic EoE comedy fic, but I've postponed that to an undetermined date in the future…

This is a post-EoE fic, five years after Third Impact. Humanity and many familiar characters have begun to return, etc, you'll see…

This is a crossover, although like Shinji's Stronghold and another top secret fanfic that will go nameless, I'd rather not tell you with what…

And yes, god help me, this is a Kaworu/Shinji story, although there will be other elements of other relationships.

I know, I know, I'm a fanatical A/S supporter who hates Kaworu/Shinji, but it suited the story, and hey, it's only slight, I needed it…

Besides, I wanted to try it…

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL! I also don't own anything that happens to be crossed over in this story.

* * *

**The Year 2020**

**Tokyo 3, Japan  
**

**Unknown Location**

The grimy, dusty masculine hand clutched onto the photograph, between its index finger and thumb, tightly.

The photograph is crude and seems to have been damaged by heat, barely visible within its frame is what seems almost like a murder scene, a slumped over, seemingly male, because of the size, body missing a head, lying on its black suited stomach, a pool of blood all around it.

One could almost smell the death in the air, fragrant as it wafted from the photograph.

The hand holding the photo suddenly fans it in a rapid flapping motion; then holds it still. The image begins to fade, and again the hand begins shaking and fanning the picture.

Finally the image fades to nothing. The hand holding the photo flaps it again; then places it at the back of a black camera.

The camera sucks the photograph back up, and the flash bulb bursts, the blinding flash emanating.

The hand lowers the camera, revealing the face of a young man, Japanese with a shock of black hair and what seems like the beginnings of a beard he would usually have shaved. Sweat drips down his face and he seems to be breathing hard.

Shinji Ikari coughed, blood covering his face and his beige suit, wet and still dripping down him. He stares forward, seemingly satisfied at what is in front of him.

His hand suddenly opens and catches a handgun which leaps up into his grasp.

Still staring, he crouches down and pulls a body off the floor by the wet hair of its bloody head. He slowly inserts the barrel of the gun into the horrendously bloody mess where the mouth should be.

Shinji Ikari flinches and there is a deafening roar as wet crimson leaps off his face, and suit, and hair.

He stumbles back, pulling the man up with him, by the neck, staring in his face with the gun stuffed into the man's mouth.

The man's face is reassembled from a bloody pulp to the face of a young man seemingly Shinji Ikari's age, with soft dark brown eyes and a shock of ebony hair. It is the face of Touji Suzahara, age nineteen.

* * *

"_Why!"_

_Shinji Ikari stared forward, his eyes wide, his hands clenching and unclenching in horrendous shock._

"_Kaworu? Why!"_

_The pale boy floated in front of him, a patient smile on his face._

"_Thank you, Shinji Ikari…I am glad you have defeated Unit 02, otherwise I may have continued to survive with her…"_

_Shinji stiffened, and suddenly jerked forward, his eyes shrouded in darkness, his hands trembling as he willed his great Evangelion Unit to grasp the floating boy in its left hand, hard enough to hold but not impressing its great strength to the point of crushing the floating angel, like an animal holding its cub between its fangs._

_I've been destined to live forever, even if humanity is annihilated as a result. However, I am able to die. To be or not to be. It makes no difference to me in the end. Death is, in truth, the only absolute liberty. That is something you Lillum have yet to understand, the finality and freedom, the duality of death. The fate of death is the joy of liberty. The fate of destruction is the joy of rebirth."_

_Shinji slowly shook his head, overcome by confusion, betrayal, and a horrendous feeling of dread and familiar sadness._

"_No! Kaworu? What are you talking about? I don-I can-…I don't understand you…"_

"_These are my last words, my last will and testament, if you will, Shinji Ikari…"_

"_Last words! No…I won-…What?"_

"_Now, please erase me. Otherwise you will be erased. The life that escapes the time of annihilation, and that obtains the future, is only one. And, you are not the one who must die. You need the future, it is what you live for, all of you Lillum, and so you will never understand the truth of it all, of the finality."_

_He paused and Shinji Ikari seemed mesmerized by his crimson eyes, they almost seemed to calm him down, his thoughts no longer crowded and chaotic as he continued with his calm, almost kind, voice._

"_Thank you, Shinji Ikari. I am glad to have met you."_

_Shinji Ikari finally spoke, speaking in a voice and tone that was totally foreign to him and scared him completely and utterly even as it wafted out of his mouth._

"_No…I_ _don't want to…I'm…I'm tired of this…of doing what everyone…tells me to do…_"

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Tokyo 3 Motel**

Shinji Ikari's eyes strained open; his breathe coming out quickly as his body shook in the newly wafting sunlight.

He rolled his red eyes to one side, and then finally turned his head, peering about on the dusty bed.

_So…where are you?_

Shinji Ikari groaned as he peered about the small room with musty curtains as he laid silently on a messy looking queen-sized bed.

_You're in some motel room…_

_

* * *

_

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Unknown Location**

The black sedan bumped against the railroad tracks as it drove upon them, approaching a large, apparently abandoned building that seemed derelict.

Shinji Ikari is driving, dressed in a clean beige suit and staring forward as he parked the car. Next to him is Touji Suzahara, staring calmly out of the window of the car, dressed in a smart black suit.

Shinji stopped the car next to a pickup truck that was also parked outside the derelict building and then finally killed the engine, his eyes darting towards the blue pickup truck alongside them.

"Looks like somebody's home…"

Touji's peered at Shinji with a tinge of nervousness and then turned to look at the pickup.

"Eh, that things been there for years…"

Shinji stepped out of the black sedan, slamming the driver side door and stalking towards the pickup truck, staring at it and inspecting the inside through the untinted windows with a careful, methodical eye.

Touji slowly followed behind him, scratching the back of his neck.

"I think you're wrong, Touji…These tracks aren't more than a few days old…"

He reached out for the pickup truck's driver side door, surprised as it opened; the truck apparently left unlock by its owner.

Shinji began to search the interior, staring at the dirty carpet and then noticing six bullets laid dormant on the car carpet.

He carefully picked up two of the copper colored projectiles, staring at them listlessly and then dropping them back onto the carpet with the other four.

Shinji finally shut the door, turning to his silent companion with a sigh.

"Let's take a look inside."

Shinji began to make his way into the derelict house, slowly strolling as he patted his suit. Touji stood silent, leaning against the pickup truck and staring at the former Third Child's back with an uneasy glare.

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Abandoned House**

Shinji stood in the quiet, dimly-lit darkness of the interior of the derelict house, a musty, decaying hallway in front of him.

He pulled a stack of photographs from his suit pocket and stared at them, leafing through them rapidly as he heard footsteps from the house's front door.

He finally chose a single photograph from the stack, staring at it as Touji began to step up behind him.

The photograph shows Touji standing in front of the blue pickup truck, a brown haired woman with freckles standing beside him, happy smiles on both of their faces. On the broad white strip beneath the photo is handwritten in black marker:

"Touji Suzahara"

Shinji calmly flipped the photograph around, ignoring Touji's approach behind him, and stared at the white strip on the back, where there was, handwritten in the same small writing style:

"DON'T LISTEN TO HIS LIES"

"HE IS THE ONE"

"KILL HIM"

Shinji's head drooped down as he sighed.

_I've finally found him, dammit, Kaworu…I finally found him…How long have I been looking?_

Shinji stuffed the photographs back into his pocket and then carefully reached around to the back of his waistband, drawing a sleek black handgun, keeping it out of Touji's line of sight.

Touji stared at him, his eyes wary.

"Find anything yet? Didn't think so…Let's go already, yeah?"

Shinji remained with his back to Touji, silent, not responding in speech or movement.

Touji's countenance seemed to take on a great nervousness for a few seconds, his face worried, but then his mood seemed to transform suddenly into a casual air, shrugging dismissively although Shinji could not see and talking with a casual, careless tone.

"Fuck this…"

Touji turned around, making his way towards the door, only to be stopped by a hand on his shoulder and floored by a butt of a gun to the back of his head.

Touji crumpled over, disorientated, groaning, as Shinji spilled down almost like a ravage rapid, covering the former Fourth Child in dozens of blows as he began brutally pistolwhipping Suzahara, Shinji's face twisted into berserker rage, his voice breaking as he shouted with all of his lungs.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID, YOU SON OF A BITCH! BEG FOR FORGIVENESS, DAMMIT! YOU'LL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID! BEG FOR MERCY AND THEN PAY!"

Shinji dragged the limp Touji down the hallway with an almost unbelievable show of strength, quickly dumping him deeper into the dark house, his eyes frantic his mouth twitching as he stood over Touji's groaning form, which was currently feebly spitting blood.

Touji stared up at him with malice and a tinge of sick pity, blood flowing from his mouth and nose.

"You…you don't have a clue…you freak…"

Shinji didn't respond, instead methodically crouching down and grabbing Touji by the neck and pulling him up off the floor, the handgun pointed at the young man's mouth.

"Beg for forgiveness, dammit! Beg for his forgiveness before I blow your brains out!"

Touji shook his head, growling, blood dripping off him.

"Shinji…You don't even have any idea of what's going on! I bet you don't even know my name."

Shinji grinned triumphantly, a vicious look and spoke in almost a harsh whisper.

"Touji…Touji Suzahara, the former fourth child!"

Touji groaned, shaking his battered face and smiling wryly.

"You read it off your fucking photo! You don't _know_ me, you don't even know yourself!"

_Kaji shook his head, staring at Shinji with a slight smile._

"_You only think you understand. People cannot perfectly understand each other. They can't even understand themselves."_

Shinji seemed to waver for a moment, his head in chaos, his mind flinching from the sudden unexplainable memory and Touji's words.

"No…no…no…I'm Shinji Ikari, the former third child, I'm from-"

Touji shook his head once more, staring at the young man choking him, with a blood grin on his face.

"Hah…That's who you _were_…You don't even know who you _are_."

Shinji's face twisted into angry confusion as he jabbed the barrel of the pistol into Touji's face.

"Shut your mouth!"

"Let me take you down into the basement Shinji, to show you just what you've become."

Touji gestured towards a door that seemed to lead down to the basement, if the derelict house had one, it is closed and gray. His voice is tinged with pain from the beating and from the current danger of the situation, but otherwise he seems to almost be cruelly enjoying Shinji's anxiety and confusion.

He continued in an almost intimate voice, friendly and calm, insinuating and smooth.

"C'mon, Shin-man…we'll take a look down there together. Then you'll know. You'll know what you really are…"

Shinji glanced almost fearfully at the basement door and then his almost tired eyes glanced back at Touji's bloody face.

With a grunt he made sure his grasp on Touji's neck was strong enough to control his movement and then shoved the cold black barrel of the handgun right into Touji's mouth without warning, just as the former fourth child opened his mouth to speak once more.

Touji's face seemed to twist finally into true panic and fear, no longer intimate and smooth, he began to furiously struggle, punching and kicking at Shinji, who responded by knocking the wind of the young man with a knee to the stomach and then tensing his fingers on the trigger.

Touji's eyes widened to an unbelievable size, almost like white saucers, filled with confusion, pity and anger.

The former fourth child struggled to speak with the barrel in his mouth but all that came were unintelligible grunts. He gagged on the barrel just as Shinji pulled the trigger.

A shot rang out, echoing in the empty building.

* * *

Well, hope you didn't think it was too confusing, or stupid, or lame…This is going to be _slight_ Kaworu/Shinji, and I mean slight…Maybe even nonexistent…ehehhehe…

Well, anyway, see you next chapter.


	2. Reverse

Well, hope you enjoyed the debut chapter…You…um…like one person that read this…

Seriously, what low feedback from my mass update…I guess Shinji's Stronghold made me forget that traditionally, my fanfics were snubbed, ala Fate of Destruction…

But like my other fanfics, I shall stubbornly carry on! Hah! Charge!

Since this fanfic got sort of snubbed although I like it, I've decided that before my next mass update, I'll give it an exclusive singular update as well as having it part of the next mass update.

And if anyone finds this fanfic horrifically confusing, feel free to address me with questions in the reviews _along_ with actual reviews.

Well, let's start the show.

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Tokyo 3 Motel**

Shinji gasped, taking in a breath of musty air.

He lifted his head from the squeaking bed.

_So…you're in some motel room…_

He slowly rose, looking around the room as if seeing it for the very first time, simply in boxers and a white tee-shirt.

_You don't know how long you've been there…or how you got there…_

Shinji stood, staring at a small key sitting on the tan, wooden dresser, and picked it up, looking at the number "21" emblazoned on it.

He sighed, reaching out and opening one of the drawers in the dresser, noticing it was utterly empty; just a few shavings of wood within them.

_Just some anonymous motel room. Won't tell you anything. Nothing in the drawers, but you look anyway._

He reached out for the remaining drawer, his face blank.

_Nothing except a Bible._

He stared at the open drawer, peering listlessly at the Bible sitting there, dusty and unopened.

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Tokyo 3 Motel, Office**

Shinji Ikari sighed as he ruffled through the bundle of bills in his wallet, handing a few to a young bespectacled, freckled motel clerk with gray eyes and brownish hair.

The young man takes the money, and then pauses, his eyes apparently spotting something over Shinji's shoulder.

"That guy's already here."

The motel clerk spoke with a straining voice, tapping a picture of Touji Suzahara which is sitting on the counter.

Shinji nodded, and picked up the picture, turning his head to see a young men dressed in a slick black suit, with soft dark brown eyes and a shock of ebony hair atop his head.

Shinji simply stood there, watching carefully as the young man ambled closer to the glass door and then finally opened it wide, an unseen bell chiming as he entered and broke into a broad grin while Shinji discreetly slid the photograph into his pocket.

"Shin-man!"

Shinji nodded with a chuckle, his face a countenance of wary recognition.

"It's Shinji, like I told you before…"

Touji rubbed his chin and the stubble there, pretending to be in deep thought.

"Did you? I musta forgot. I'm Touji."

Shinji smiled slightly.

"I guess I've told you about my condition…"

Touji simply grinned, holding the door open for Shinji.

"Only every damn time I see you!"

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Tokyo 3 Motel, Parking Lot**

Shinji sighed suddenly as Touji made his way towards a drab gray van in the small parking lot that was next to the Tokyo 3 Motel.

He stopped Touji with a hand on the shoulder and spoke.

"My car."

Touji glanced back in surprise, raising an eyebrow.

"This is your car."

Shinji sighed again, shaking his head.

"You're in a playful mood."

Shinji reached into his pocket and held up a picture of an attractive new black sedan.

"You shouldn't make fun of someone's handicap, you know Touji."

Touji smiled broadly, making his way towards the black sedan parked a few cars down from them, chuckling.

"Just trying to have a little fun, Shin-man…"

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Unknown Location**

Touji sighed, absentmindedly fingering the nice interior of the car as Shinji drove carefully down the almost completely empty road.

Touji began slowly admiring the nice interior of the car, running his hands along the door.

"Roll up the window, will ya?"

Shinji slowly hit the button to raise the window next to the driver side door, to his surprise when he presses it, A few fragments of safety glass rise out of the door, remnants of a broken window.

"It's broken…"

Touji cocked his head, peering at it curiously.

"I can get that fixed for you."

Shinji only shrugged.

"So…where are we going, eh Shin-man?"

Shinji simply sighed, fishing a note out of his pocket.

"I've got…a lead on a place."

Shinji checked the note and then handed it to Touji, who fingered it slightly and then looked suddenly surprised.

"What the hell do you want to go there for?"

"You know it?"

"Yeah man, it's just this fucked up building…Why are we going there?"

Shinji smiled, ever so slightly.

"I don't remember."

The black sedan bumped against the railroad tracks as it drove upon them, approaching a large, apparently abandoned building that seemed derelict.

Shinji Ikari is driving, dressed in a clean beige suit and staring forward as he parked the car. Next to him is Touji Suzahara, staring calmly out of the window of the car, dressed in a smart black suit.

Shinji stopped the car next to a pickup truck that was also parked outside the derelict building and then finally killed the engine, his eyes darting towards the blue pickup truck alongside them.

"Looks like somebody's home…"

* * *

_Kawuro smiled serenely as the large Evangelion hand grasped him, tight enough to stop escape, but not too tight as to break his skeleton._

"_Ah Shinji…I am glad. Thank you Shinji."_

"_Kawuro!"_

"_I wished you to take Unit 02 from me, otherwise I may have survived much longer"_

"_Kawuro…Why?"_

"_It is my destiny to live forever, though it will destroy the Lillim. However it is possible for me to be killed, and whether I live or die makes no great difference. The one thing you Lillim have never been able to grasp, is death maybe the only absolute freedom there ever was."_

"_What are you talking about Kawuro! I don't understand this!"_

"_This is my last wish, Shinji. Destroy me. Otherwise you will be destroyed. The life that escapes the time of annihilation, and that obtains the future, is only one and, you are not the one who must die."_

_Shinji looked down, his entire body shivering._

"_Shinji? Why do you hesitate? You need the future. It is what you live for."_

"_Kawuro…."_

"_Thank you. My life was meaningful because of you…Goodbye"_

"_No…"_

"_What!"_

_Shinji's voice grew louder and more firm, his entire body shaking in the entry plug._

"_No! I've had enough of this…"_

"_Shut up! Shut up!"_

_Evangelion Unit 01 released the Fifth Child from its grasps, as Shinji clutched his head with his hands, screaming._

_Kawuro floated backwards, for the first time, a look of confusion and not of a calm smile, on his face._

"_This was not in the scenario…"_

_

* * *

_

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Tokyo 3 Motel**

Shinji shook as his eyes opened wide, his breath coming in short gasps as the memories of his dreams, or his dreams of his memories flooded back to him, causing him to clench his eyes tight.

He stood there dressed in boxers and a white tee-shirt, standing in front of the dresser, taking the dusty Bible out of the open bedside drawer.

_Nothing except a Bible._

He leafed through a couple of pages, then drops the Bible down roughly back into the dusty drawer, closing it shut.

As he does so, he notices a message written in thick black marker on the back of his hand.

It reads, "Remember Gendo".

Shinji stared at it in surprise and then licked his thumb, trying to rub at the writing as he felt an odd pressure in his head, images flickering back into his mind.

"_Shinji...Don't look for me anymore…"_

"_What?"_

"_Only infants require parents. You are no longer an infant. Stand on your own two feet and walk…I learned to do the same"_

"_But I-"_

"_People can only live by their own strength…They only grow by their own strength…"_

"_Father…"_

"_Don't try to think we can understand each other. For some reason people think that they can do that. Remember that they can't. Never completely. Never enough."_

_Gendo Ikari looked his son in the eye, showing almost no emotion._

"_People are such sad creatures…"_

_For a minute Shinji thought he detected a hint of utter sadness in his father's cold eyes, but shook that thought away as his father turned around towards the waiting helicopter, muttering only this._

"_I'm leaving"_

Shinji gasped, stumbling back onto the bed, his mouth moving slowly, mouthing something that he himself could not hear.

To Shinji's surprise as he rubs his moist thumb feverishly against the marker letters, they do not even smudge.

He then noticed his bare legs as he sat on the bed, trying to erase the message on the back of his hand to no avail.

There is a note taped roughly to his right thigh with a handwritten message reading, "Shave".

He pulled it off, staring at it in confusion.

* * *

Well, odd place to end such an odd short chapter. Remember, address any questions in your reviews along with the actual review of course, I could use feedback…

This is an extremely short chapter for me, and you may see more short chapters in this particular fanfic, but they're primarily for flow and story purposes.

Well, see you next chapter.


	3. Retry

Well, good to see at least _some_ reviews…It means people are enjoying this fanfic and aren't hating it too badly…

Heh…

But anyway, not much to say, just that these chapters may vary greatly in length, although a lot of them will be really short like the last chapter.

Usually I try not to make short chapters in my other fanfics, but this is an exception, where the chapters have to be a certain length for sake of flow and continuity, so just bare with me….

Anyway…

Let's start the show…

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL! I also don't own anything that happens to be crossed over in this story.

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Tokyo 3 Motel**

Shinji Ikari groaned, slowly standing up and staring at the photograph of Touji Suzahara.

He quickly flipped it over, staring at the messages on the back.

"DON'T BELIEVE HIS LIES."

"HE IS THE ONE."

Shinji Ikari paused, staring at the messages, then clenched his fist tightly, picking up a pen and writing a third message under the other two already there.

"KILL HIM."

He slowly put the picture of Touji Suzahara between his teeth, bending over and pulling a handgun from under the motel bed, holding it carefully with two hands.

His hands flitted over the firearm, carefully and methodically checking if all its parts were in order and everything was fine, as well as checking if the weapon was fully loaded.

He sticks the handgun slowly into the back of his waistband while putting the photograph in his pocket.

The camera sitting down peacefully on the bed he swings over his shoulder, then he makes his way out of the door.

He paused as he was halfway out the door and simply stood there, staring at the ground and taking in deep breathes for what seems like an hour, clenching and unclenching his fists.

Finally he leaves, his face calm with a hint of horrendous determination.

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Tokyo 3 Motel, Office**

Shinji Ikari strolled into the quiet office, a confident and determined smile dancing across his unshaven countenance.

Standing behind the desk is a bespectacled young man with brown hairs and freckles, smiling back surreptitiously at him.

"Hiya."

"I'm Mr. Ikari from Room 333"

Kensuke Aida simply nodded.

"What can I do for you, Shinji? "

"I'm sorry…um?"

"Kazou."

Shinji nodded sheepishly.

"Kazou, I'm not sure, but I may have asked you to hold my calls-"

Kensuke cocked his head to the side.

"You don't know?"

"I…think I may have…I'm not good with the phone."

Kensuke nodded, staring Shinji in the eyes.

"You said you like to look people in the eye when you talk to them. Don't you remember?"

Shinji paused, looking at Kensuke nervously.

"That's the thing…I have this condition…"

"Condition?"

"I have no memory"

Kensuke stared at Shinji curiously, although the look seemed oddly disingenuous for some reason.

"Amnesia"

Shinji took a painful pause and then looked at Kensuke, as if deliberating the exact words to use. Then he spoke, and it flowed out, as if he had said it countless times before, almost a mantra of sorts.

No. It's different. I have no short-term memory. I know who I am and all about myself, but since my injury I can't make any new memories. Everything fades. If we talk for too long, I'll forget how we started. I don't know if we've ever met before, and the next time I see you I won't remember this conversation. So if I seem strange or rude, that's probably..."

Shinji faded off at the end, noticing that "Kazou" was staring at him like one would look at an exotic insect.

"I've…told you this before, haven't I?"

Kensuke nodded earnestly.

"I don't mean to mess with you. It's just so weird. You don't remember me at all, and we talked a bunch of times."

Shinji simply sighed and nodded.

"You don't remember…_anything_ about me?"

Kensuke stared at Shinji, a genuine look of curiosity beaming on his face.

Shinji Ikari simply shrugged.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

Shinji stiffened slightly, and then stared at Kensuke, eventually almost staring straight through him and into the wall behind the young man.

"I remember a friend of mine…"

_Kawuro simply grinned and turned to his side, locking eyes with the Third Child, causing Shinji to blush slightly, although very imperceptivity. _

_Then the Fifth Child did the unexpected, reaching out and touching Shinji's hand, softly, making him blush even more and then violently jerk back his hand._

_"You try to avoid personal contact of people even in touching. Why are you scared? Is it because that if you don't get to know the other person, that person wont be able to betray you or harm you in anyway? But if you don't interact, that feeling of sadness won't pass away. Humans, no matter how they try, they will never completely drive sadness away. But you know, you can forget sadness for a while if you interact and that makes life worth living."_

Kensuke arched an eyebrow and leaned in closer, fascinated as Shinji seemed to space out.

"What's it like?"

Shinji looked up listlessly.

"Huh? Oh… It's like…like waking. Like you're constantly just waking up from a dream…"

"That must suck. All…backwards."

Shinji raised an eyebrow, staring at Kensuke inquisitively.

Well, like…you've got a pretty good idea of what you're going to do next, but no idea of what you just did recently."

He chuckled hollowly and then continued.

"I'm the exact opposite you know…"

Shinji suddenly focused on Kensuke, looking serious as if he were collecting his thoughts, ignoring the other young man's banter.

"How long have I been here?"

"Um…couple days."

"So you're holding my calls?"

Kensuke nodded.

"As requested."

Shinji reached into his pocket and gingerly brought out a stack of photographs, leafing quickly through them.

"Alright, this guy is an exception."

Shinji placed the photograph of Touji onto the counter and Kensuke stared at it, smirking for a second, and then nodding at Shinji.

"Do you know this guy?"

Kensuke looked rattled unexplainably for a few seconds, and then he simply replied listlessly.

"Um…your friend, right?"

Shinji eyed Kensuke curiously, his face hinting at a deep intensity within.

"What…makes you think he's my friend?"

Kensuke chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head.

"Um…just see you guys together a lot, that's all."

Shinji stared firmly at Kensuke and pointed his left index finger at him.

Remember, he's not my friend, Kazou. But if he calls, or if he turns up here, then you give me a call in my room, okay? Room 333."

Kensuke quickly nodded.

"Sure, but no one else, right?"

Shinji nodded and tapped the photograph of Touji once more.

"Yeah, just this guy."

Kensuke gave a Mona Lisa smile and then simply nodded while Shinji slowly continued, his voice calm.

"I hope my condition won't be a problem for you…Kazou."

Kazou chuckled.

"Not if you pay your bill, Mr. Ikari."

Shinji nodded, smiling wryly and pulling out his wallet.

Shinji Ikari sighed as he ruffled through the bundle of bills in his wallet, handing a few to a young bespectacled, freckled motel clerk with gray eyes and brownish hair.

The young man takes the money, and then pauses, his eyes apparently spotting something over Shinji's shoulder.

"That guy's already here."

The motel clerk spoke with a straining voice, tapping a picture of Touji Suzahara which is sitting on the counter.

Shinji nodded, and picked up the picture, turning his head to see a young men dressed in a slick black suit, with soft dark brown eyes and a shock of ebony hair atop his head.

Shinji simply stood there, watching carefully as the young man ambled closer to the glass door and then finally opened it wide, an unseen bell chiming as he entered and broke into a broad grin while Shinji discreetly slid the photograph into his pocket.

"Shin-man!"

* * *

Heh, well hope you enjoyed it…

Like I said, I usually hate writing any chapters less than 5 pages, but for this story to really be readable and understandable with its unique format, there are certain places where I have to break off it.

It may seem to be moving slow and mysteriously, but don't worry, you'll get the answers to whatever questions you have eventually, just be patient.

Well, anyway, see you next chapter.


	4. Reset

Well, looks like a few people are enjoying this, I certainly enjoy updating it, it's fun to write these chapters…

Anyway, you may have noticed I haven't been doing mass updates lately…

I've swore them off, but don't worry, you'll see update of Ikari the King and some of my other fanfics soon enough, I'll get there slowly but surely…

Anyway…

Let's start the show…

Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or its characters. Gainax does, and they rock. Who else could create both Evangelion and FLCL! I also don't own anything that happens to be crossed over in this story.

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Tokyo 3 Motel**

Shinji Ikari sighed as he slowly brought himself off the dusty bed; his eyes laced with red, his face pale and tired, his hair messy and sticking out in places.

He stood there dressed in boxers and a white tee-shirt, then suddenly noticed it out of the corner of his eye. Something odd.

He ripped the note off of his thigh, staring at the message scrawled on it.

"Shave."

Shinji slowly strolled into the bathroom, noticing a white paper bag on the counter by the sink. On the bag is the handwritten message reading "Shave thigh".

The former Third Child slowly and cautiously opened the bag, peering inside and then slowly bringing out a can of shaving cream and a pack of disposable razors.

He slowly leaned over towards the faucet, running the hot water with a sigh, stepping back and gingerly lifting his foot, awkwardly and uncomfortably putting it into the sink and the running hot water.

Shinji tried to balance himself awkwardly, and then chuckled when he noticed the ice bucket under the sink.

A few minutes later, he strolled out of the bathroom, sitting onto the bed, putting the filled bucket down on the ground, leaving it steaming.

He slowly began to apply the shaving foam to his thigh, and then pull one of the razors out, smoothly beginning to shave his right thigh.

He was quite efficient, used to shaving a lot.

Deep inside of him, he hated having facial hair, so he always shaved it…it reminded him of…

Suddenly the phone rang and Shinji shook his head, confused, flinching and slightly nicking his leg.

He stared, annoyed at the receiver, and then reached over for it.

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Kiriyama's Grill, Men's Restroom**

Shinji Ikari stood in front of the mirror in a beige suit and blue shirt, staring at his reflection, which seemed to be staring right back at him with that intimidating glare. His fists clenched and unclenched, and he smiled wildly, looked down, and then looked up with eyes splotched with red and manic mania.

He raised his hand to his face and laughed loudly in the bathroom, staring at it with a bemused look on his face.

"Who the hell am I?"

He shook his head as the urinal flushed and then moved to the sink, turning on the faucet, and washing his hands.

As he does so, he notices a message written in thick black marker on the back of his hand.

It reads, "Remember Gendo".

Shinji stared at it in surprise and then licked his thumb, trying to rub at the writing, looking at it quizzically, finding it is completely indelible.

Then, as he stared at the writing, he noticed some black markings on his wrist, pulling his sleeve back to get a better look.

There is a scar running horizontal down his wrist, and then written next to it is, "The Facts:"

Shinji's eyes widened and he slowly began to reach over and roll his sleeve up further to read the message when the restroom door opened and a handsome man with a ponytail and piercing eyes.

Shinji's eyes flit towards the newcomer, who glances mysteriously at him then goes into a bathroom stall.

Shinji finished drying his hands, blinked a few times, silent, and then exited the rest room.

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Kiriyama's Grill, Waiting Area**

Shinji emerged out into the waiting area of the crowded restaurant, sighing and glancing around, apparently lost already, just as he'd come from the rest room.

He glanced around a bit more and then took the photographs out of his pocket, flipping through them slowly.

Suddenly someone interrupted him, tapping his shoulder and almost making him flinch.

Shinji turned slowly to face the smiling countenance of a waiter.

"Sir, you left these at your table."

Shinji looked down, noticing a brown envelope and his room key in the waiter's hand.

"Oh thanks…"

He took the envelope and keys, staring curiously at the handwritten message on it. It read, "For Shinji, From Asuka"

Shinji raised an eyebrow and then looked at a photograph of the Tokyo 3 Motel in his hand, an address written beneath it to help him. It reads "7243 Noliju Street".

"Um…thanks. Noliju Street?"

The waiter glanced quickly at the photograph and then nodded, smiling.

"Yeah, you wanna go east on sixth…just keep straight, all the way out of town, then take a right."

Shinji strolled out around the parking lot, scratching the back of his neck as he peered at a small photograph and then entered a black sedan, turning the ignition and driving off.

Right as he turned the ignition on, loud, blaring marching band music came on in the radio, and he flinched, confused, fumbling with the switch and then shutting it off.

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Tokyo 3 Motel**

Shinji entered the room as if it were his first time, his eyes wide.

_You're in a motel room…just some anonymous motel room._

On one of the walls is a hand-drawn chart showing the layouts of some streets, and stuck to the edges of the chart are photographs with arrows drawn from each photograph to a spot on the map.

Shinji stared at the chart and the photos, his eyes widening.

Some of the photographs are buildings and streets, some are people.

All of them have handwritten notes written on their backs in the same scrawl he vaguely recognized as his own, in black permanent marker.

Shinji slowly pulled some of the photographs out of his pocket, the first one of the Tokyo 3 Motel.

He sticks it into an already squashed lump of blue tack at the end of an arrow drawn from a location on the outskirts of the city.

He then pulls out a second photo, a blurred shot of a redhead turning in a doorway.

The name "ASUKA" is written under the picture.

Shinji flipped it over curiously, staring at the two handwritten messages on the back.

The first one has been inexplicably, completely scribbled over in dark marker, not revealing anything of what the message used to be, but the other one is clear and visible.

It reads, "SHE HAS ALSO LOST SOMEONE, SHE WILL HELP YOU OUT OF PITY"

Shinji stared at the message for a few moments, wistfully, and then nodded, sticking the photo up onto a place in the chart.

Then he stepped back, looking over the photographs on the wall one by one, "Asuka", "Misato", "Kaji", "The Tokyo 3 Motel", and "Touji".

Then he turned back around, sitting at the drab brown desk and chair supplied in his room, quickly opening the brown envelope with a flick of his wrist.

He fishes his hands within the envelope for a few moments and then finally takes out a few things.

The photocopy of a car registration form and a driver's license.

Both are in the name of Gendo Ikari, but when Shinji looks at the license, he recognizes the face.

Feverishly standing up, he turned to the chart on the wall, staring at the photograph reading "Touji" and then the license photo.

_This guy told me his name was Touji…_

He tore the photo of Touji off the wall, twirling it around and looking at the back.

Written on it is only one message. It reads, "DON'T BELIEVE HIS LIES"

Shinji smirked venomously, strolling over to the small white telephone sitting on the dresser and picking it up dialing the number written on Touji's photograph.

After a couple of irritating rings and slight pauses, it's finally answered.

"Yup?"

"Brother…"

"Shinji, is that you?"

"Mr. Gendo Ikari…"

"Shinji, it's Touji. Look, stay right there, okay? I'm going to be right over."

"I'll be waiting."

Shinji hung up slowly, staring blankly at the chart on the wall, apparently deep in thought.

He looks at the writing on the back of his hand, and then pulls back his sleeve to reveal the words written there. It reads, "The Facts:"

Shinji's eyes widened and he wrenched off his jacket, and then began pulling off his shirt.

He has writing tattooed all over his chest, stomach, and arms.

Messages in different styles of writing, some crude, some elaborate. The messages run in all directions, some upside-down, some backwards.

The most striking one Shinji can see as he bends over is the upside-down tattoo on his belly, which reads, "PHOTOGRAPH: BUIDLING, CAR, FRIEND, FOE"

One his right forearm, he notices the writing, "The Facts:", continues.

It reads:

"The Facts:

FACT 1: MALE

FACT 2: JAPANESE"

Then it seemed to continue onto his other forearm.

"FACT 3: FIRST NAME: GENDO/RYOUJI

FACT 4: LAST NAME: I/K"

Shinji stared at it blankly and then quickly pulled down his trousers.

On his right thigh, crudely lettered, it is written, "FACT 5: NERV OFFICER"

And immediately down below this, quickly attracting his darting eyes, it is written, in elegant, neat lettering, "FACT 6: CAR LICENSE NUMBER: SG137IU"

Shinji Ikari pulled out the photocopied car registration form bearing the face of Touji and then squinted, examining it.

Holding the photograph of Touji and the registration form, he begins to mumble to himself, his eyes closed.

"Japanese…male…first name…Gendo…last name…I for Ikari…your sibling…NERV Officer when you were piloting…license plate."

Shinji looked down at his thigh, checking the writing there with the registration document, mumbling under his breath.

"SG…13…7…IU…It's him…It's actually him…"

Shinji stared coldly at Touji's smiling image and then sneered.

_I found you, you fuck…_

Shinji Ikari groaned, slowly standing up and staring at the photograph of Touji Suzahara.

He quickly flipped it over, staring at the messages on the back.

"DON'T BELIEVE HIS LIES."

"HE IS THE ONE."

Shinji Ikari paused, staring at the messages, then clenched his fist tightly, picking up a pen and writing a third message under the other two already there.

"KILL HIM."

He slowly put the picture of Touji Suzahara between his teeth, bending over and pulling a handgun from under the motel bed, holding it carefully with two hands.

His hands flitted over the firearm, carefully and methodically checking if all its parts were in order and everything was fine, as well as checking if the weapon was fully loaded.

He sticks the handgun slowly into the back of his waistband while putting the photograph in his pocket.

The camera sitting down peacefully on the bed he swings over his shoulder, then he makes his way out of the door.

He paused as he was halfway out the door and simply stood there, staring at the ground and taking in deep breathes for what seems like an hour, clenching and unclenching his fists.

Finally he left; his face calm with a hint of horrendous determination.

* * *

Well, hope you enjoyed this chapter…

And as for fans of my other fanfictions, never fret, I'll never ever leave any of my stories to die. Some may take longer to update, but I'll never abandon any.

Just be patient.

Eh, anyway, see you guys next chapter!


	5. Reload

Well, you cats may not have seen much from me lately, but don't worry, I'll come back…

I just need to get back into Writer Mode instead of Reader Mode, and the transition might be sort of hard, so I've decided to start with updating the relatively low maintenance "Relic" as a warm-up…

Not that many people seem to read this fic anyway…heheh.

Well, let's start the show.

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Tokyo 3 Motel**

Shinji Ikari stared at the wall in a dazed manner, sighing, his eyes tired, his face numb from alcohol, dressed only in boxers and a t-shirt, shaving foam sparkling on his thigh.

Suddenly the sound of a phone ringing and Shinji fumbled about the room, dropping a disposable razor in his search, finally finding a nondescript black phone on the table next to his bed and answering it.

He spoke carefully into it, squinting his eyes and waiting for a response.

"Who…is this?"

He unbuttoned his shirt absentmindedly as he listened to the voice on the other line, slowly nodding and talking into the phone.

"And…we spoke earlier? I don't remember that… Well, yeah, but it's not amnesia. I from before my injury, I just can't make any new memories."

He nodded slowly again, listening as he began to take off his shirt, revealing a thick bandage on his left arm and multiple tattoos all over his chest, stomach, and arms.

"So I can't remember talking to you. What did we talk about?"

He nodded.

"Asuka huh? Yeah, I guess I tell people about Asuka to help them understand me. Asuka's story helps me understand my own situation."

He slowly touched the back of his hand, a tattoo there, his face somber.

"Asuka's parents, they left her too, one way or another…she never had anyone…so she tried to make a wall around her heart…she just reacted differently, I guess…not like Kaworu at all…She really had no reason to just give up like that, old fiery Asuka…"

Shinji stared at his reflection in the mirror in front of him while he held the phone, studying the huge tattoo across his chest, "GENDO I. RAPED AND MURDERED MY LIFE".

"Me? I've got a reason."

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Kiriyama's Grill, Parking lot**

Shinji slowly parked his car, stepping out and staring at the restaurant while comparing its name to a similar name scrawled on a small piece of paper. It read, "KIRIYAMA'S GRILL, MAIN ST. THURSDAY, 1.OOPM MEET ASUKA FOR INFO"

He stuck the note into his pants pocket and fished into his jacket, pulling out his bundle of photographs and leafing carefully through them until he finds the one he was looking for, a blurred shot of a redhead turning in a doorway.

He flips the photograph over.

On the back are two handwritten messages, one blacked out completely, the other, under it, reading "SHE HAS ALSO LOST SOMEONE, SHE WILL HELP YOU OUT OF PITY"

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Kiriyama's Grill, Waiting Area**

Shinji slowly entered the crowded restaurant, peering around at all the customers while carefully making his way down each aisle of tables, people shooting him rude and confused glances from time to time.

Finally he makes eye contact with a beautiful redheaded woman sitting alone and wearing sunglasses.

Her face betrays nothing and Shinji simply walks past her, sighing.

Suddenly, something halting him and he turned, the woman sighing and grabbing the back of his jacket, pulling him back.

Shinji spun around and eyed the redhead carefully, noticing a bruise around her pretty eyes and a mark on her lip.

"Asuka."

"You don't remember me; if you did you wouldn't be smiling."

Shinji retained his friendly smile.

"Sorry, I should've explained. You see, I have this condition-"

Asuka frowned, sighing.

"You did explain, Ikari."

Shinji stiffened.

"Please…call me Shinji…"

"You told me that too, Shinji."

She smiled, bemused.

"Then I probably told you how much I hated it. Could you take off your sunglasses? It's just hard for me-"

Asuka took the shades off, the smile gone, looking uncomfortable as more bruises were revealed on her face.

"Yeah…"

Shinji frowned.

"So…you have information for me? On the Eva pilot?"

"Is that what your little note said?"

"Yes…"

"Must be tough after the accident Shinji…Living on notes and scraps…But I guess that's why you have those odd tattoos."

She smiled.  
Shinji's eyes widened in surprise.

"How do you…Um…Well, it is tough, I guess. I'm sorry…Asuka, I can't remember you. It's nothing personal."

She whispered fiercely.

"But you still remember him! The enemy!"

Shinji seemed not to hear, raising his eyebrows.

"Sorry, what did you say?"

Her smile faded.

"Nothing, sorry."

She shook her head to herself and slowly pulled a small brown envelope from out of her purse.

"I do have information for you on the pilot. You gave me a license plate number of his car? I had my friend trace it. Guess what name came up?"

Shinji shrugged.

"Gendo Ikari."

"You know him?"  
"No…No. But the photo on his license looked familiar. I think he's been in here before…"

She began to slide the envelope towards him, then paused, looking wistful.

"This is a copy of his registration, license, photo and all. Are you sure you want this?"

Shinji's eyes seemed grim.

"Have I told you what this man did!"

She paused.

"Yes…"

"Then you shouldn't have to ask."

Asuka frowned slightly.

"But even if you get your revenge, you won't remember it. You won't even know it's happened!"

Shinji seemed annoyed, almost in rage, as he whispered fiercely.

"So I'll take a picture, get a tattoo!"

Then he calmed down slightly, sighing and speaking in a more genial tone, missing Asuka's second long morose look.

"The world doesn't disappear when youclose your eyes, does it? My actionsstill have meaning, even if I can't remember them. He deserves vengeance, and it doesn't make any difference whether I know about it.

She paused, her eyes flitting to the side.

"Tell…tell me about him again."

"Why?"

"Because you like to remember him. I…want to see you enjoy yourself."

Shinji nodded slowly.

"He was perfect to me…He was bea-"

She shook her head in annoyance.

"Don't recite the words, Shinji. Close your eyes. Remember him."

Shinji sighed.

He could only feel details. Bits and pieces which he couldn't put into words. And extreme moments he felt even if he didn't want to feel them.

"_Empathy?"_

"_I'm saying I love you"_

"…"

_Shinji stared at Kawuro as the boy smiled warmly and released Shinji's hand._

"_I think I was born just to meet you."_

Put all of these bits and pieces together and you get the feel of a person, enough to know how much you miss them, and how much you hate the person who took them away.

"Shinji? Shinji?"

Shinji opened his eyes, staring at Asuka's unreadable expression.

She nodded and finally pushed over the brown envelope.

"I wrote an address in there, too. Might be useful. It's this abandoned place outside of town. I guy I know uses it for his more clandestine activities."

"Activities? Who?"

She blushed for a moment, and then frowned.

"It's isolated."

Shinji stared at her, unsure.

"Well…it sounds perfect. How much do I owe you?"  
Asuka snorted, bringing up her head.

"I wasn't helping you for the money, idiot."

"Sorry…"

"Stop apologizing, Thir-"

She stopped suddenly, her eyes frantic for a moment.

"Just stop it Shinji."  
Shinji raised his eyebrows, confused, but Asuka just smiled slightly.

"Nevermind, it's not your fault. See, you have this condition…"

Shinji smiled back and Asuka reached into her purse, pulling out a key.

"Are you still at the Discount Inn? Room 304? You left this at my place."

Shinji nodded slowly, pulling out a photograph of the Discount Inn.

"The Discount Inn, yeah."

Asuka nodded, slowly rising from the table, leaving the key there.

She looked at him as if it were an afterthought, smirking.

"They treating you right?"  
Shinji smiled.

"Don't remember."

Asuka bit her lip, looking as if she were thinking for a moment, then slowly walked away from the table.

"You know what we have in common?"  
Shinji looked at her, his face obviously curious as he shrugged.

"We're both survivors. Take care, Shinji."

Shinji watched her leave, then stood, striding into the men's restroom in the back.

* * *

**Tokyo 3, Japan**

**Kiriyama's Grill, Men's Restroom**

Shinji Ikari stood in front of the mirror in a beige suit and blue shirt, staring at his reflection, which seemed to be staring right back at him with that intimidating glare. His fists clenched and unclenched, and he smiled wildly, looked down, and then looked up with eyes splotched with red and manic mania.

He raised his hand to his face and laughed loudly in the bathroom, staring at it with a bemused look on his face.

"Who the hell am I?"

He shook his head as the urinal flushed and then moved to the sink, turning on the faucet, and washing his hands.

As he does so, he notices a message written in thick black marker on the back of his hand.

It reads, "Remember Gendo".

Shinji stared at it in surprise and then licked his thumb, trying to rub at the writing, looking at it quizzically, finding it is completely indelible.

Then, as he stared at the writing, he noticed some black markings on his wrist, pulling his sleeve back to get a better look.

There is a scar running horizontal down his wrist, and then written next to it is, "The Facts:"

Shinji's eyes widened and he slowly began to reach over and roll his sleeve up further to read the message when the restroom door opened and a handsome man with a ponytail and piercing eyes.

Shinji's eyes flit towards the newcomer, who glances mysteriously at him then goes into a bathroom stall.

Shinji finished drying his hands, blinked a few times, silent, and then exited the rest room.

* * *

Anyone reading and enjoying this? Review me up guys! Heheh…

Long time no update huh? Well, don't worry, I'm back in writing mode with a new Eva fanfic and a bunch of other good fanfics like "Relic" here to update.

Until next chapter, seeya.


End file.
